Why Healing Yourself Improves Relationships | Phillip Quinones
Mon Jan 26 2026
Why do the same relationship patterns keep showing up, and what does it actually take to break them?
Erin and Daren welcome Phillip Quinones, LMHT and Relationship Coach, to unpack how trauma, emotional regulation, and self-awareness shape the way we connect with others.
Phillip shares how many people unknowingly operate from survival mode, how that affects communication and intimacy, and why real relational change starts internally, not externally.
Topics Covered:
🔴 Trauma responses and relational patterns🟢 Emotional regulation tools for healthier connections🟣 Why awareness must come before relationship repair
CHAPTERS / TIMESTAMPS00:00 Understanding Feelings and Thoughts
02:58 The Journey of Healing and Self-Awareness
06:12 Navigating Relationships and Communication
08:56 The Power of Questions in Emotional Processing
12:06 Reflections vs. Questions in Communication
14:47 Tools for Shifting Unhealthy Relationship Patterns
24:44 The Power of Writing Things Down
28:05 Accountability in Relationships
30:36 Understanding Trauma Triggers
32:38 Conscious vs. Subconscious Control
36:16 Navigating Change and Resistance
40:00 The Role of Therapy in Relationships
47:59 Preventative Care in Couples Therapy
52:47 Navigating Relationship Challenges
54:22 The Impact of Trauma on Relationships
56:41 Emotional Safety in Partnerships
58:11 Understanding Emotional Needs
01:00:28 The Complexity of Long-Term Relationships
01:02:03 Expectations and Emotional Fulfillment
01:03:34 The Importance of Emotional Intelligence
01:06:26 Rewriting Societal Rules on Emotions
CONNECT & RESOURCESGuest:Phillip Quinones — LMHT & Relationship Coach
Podcast:🔗 linktr.ee/undounplugged📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/undounpluggedpod/📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/undounpluggedpod/
Un/Do: Unplugged
EPISODE CREDITSThis episode is brought to you by:
Un/Do: UnpluggedHosts: Erin Harris & Daren NorrisProduced by: Podcast MechanicEdited by: TJ
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Why do the same relationship patterns keep showing up, and what does it actually take to break them? Erin and Daren welcome Phillip Quinones, LMHT and Relationship Coach, to unpack how trauma, emotional regulation, and self-awareness shape the way we connect with others. Phillip shares how many people unknowingly operate from survival mode, how that affects communication and intimacy, and why real relational change starts internally, not externally. Topics Covered: 🔴 Trauma responses and relational patterns🟢 Emotional regulation tools for healthier connections🟣 Why awareness must come before relationship repair CHAPTERS / TIMESTAMPS00:00 Understanding Feelings and Thoughts 02:58 The Journey of Healing and Self-Awareness 06:12 Navigating Relationships and Communication 08:56 The Power of Questions in Emotional Processing 12:06 Reflections vs. Questions in Communication 14:47 Tools for Shifting Unhealthy Relationship Patterns 24:44 The Power of Writing Things Down 28:05 Accountability in Relationships 30:36 Understanding Trauma Triggers 32:38 Conscious vs. Subconscious Control 36:16 Navigating Change and Resistance 40:00 The Role of Therapy in Relationships 47:59 Preventative Care in Couples Therapy 52:47 Navigating Relationship Challenges 54:22 The Impact of Trauma on Relationships 56:41 Emotional Safety in Partnerships 58:11 Understanding Emotional Needs 01:00:28 The Complexity of Long-Term Relationships 01:02:03 Expectations and Emotional Fulfillment 01:03:34 The Importance of Emotional Intelligence 01:06:26 Rewriting Societal Rules on Emotions CONNECT & RESOURCESGuest:Phillip Quinones — LMHT & Relationship Coach Podcast:🔗 linktr.ee/undounplugged📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/undounpluggedpod/📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/undounpluggedpod/ Un/Do: Unplugged EPISODE CREDITSThis episode is brought to you by: Un/Do: UnpluggedHosts: Erin Harris & Daren NorrisProduced by: Podcast MechanicEdited by: TJ