Healing Language That Hurts: How Good Intentions and Bad Metaphors Undermine Recovery
Wed Feb 04 2026
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Episode 143: Healing Language That Hurts
Some of the most damaging things we say about healing are said with the best intentions.
In this short solocast, Cinnamon takes a hard look at the phrases we casually throw around when someone is hurting. Let it go. Move on. Put it behind you. You should be over this by now.
She explains why this kind of language doesn’t heal. It shames. It implies erasure. And it quietly tells people they’re doing recovery wrong if the past still shows up.
Drawing from her work as a therapist and her own lived losses, Cinnamon breaks down why healing isn’t about forgetting, cutting cords, or turning pages like nothing happened. Trauma doesn’t disappear on command. It doesn’t come with scissors. And it doesn’t stay politely behind you.
Instead, she offers a reframe that actually fits how nervous systems work. Healing is when the memory drops from face level to ankle level. It’s still there. You’re aware of it. But it no longer blocks your breath, your vision, or your ability to live.
This episode is for anyone who still has waves. For anyone who remembers. For anyone who’s been told they should be further along by now.
You’re not broken. You’re not failing at healing. And you don’t need better metaphors that ask you to disappear parts of yourself.
You need language that tells the truth.
DISCLAIMER:
After the Tones Drop has been presented and sponsored by Whole House Counseling. After the Tones Drop is for informational purposes only and does not constitute for medical or psychological advice. It is not a substitute for professional health care advice diagnosis or treatment. Please contact a local mental health professional in your area if you are in need of assistance. You can also visit our shows resources page for an abundance of helpful information.
ATTD Music Credits (Music from #Uppbeat):
https://uppbeat.io/t/vens-adams/adventure-is-calling License code: ANJCYVHRMULSNKQR https://uppbeat.io/t/vens-adams/rise-of-the-hero License code: H4WTAGJZIXZCM8DM https://uppbeat.io/t/yeti-music/homewardLicense code: KO7FZAIJBAEAJLKE https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/the-heart-grows License code: KAID0ITO96GJZAPS https://uppbeat.io/t/philip-anderson/achievement License code: XZ4PMCKHW94GUR74 https://uppbeat.io/t/tobias-voigt/nexus
License code: MVMDRGHKHTJRABVR https://uppbeat.io/t/paul-yudin/breakthrough
License code: FYPM3OJF0NQ4OGTE
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Send us a text Episode 143: Healing Language That Hurts Some of the most damaging things we say about healing are said with the best intentions. In this short solocast, Cinnamon takes a hard look at the phrases we casually throw around when someone is hurting. Let it go. Move on. Put it behind you. You should be over this by now. She explains why this kind of language doesn’t heal. It shames. It implies erasure. And it quietly tells people they’re doing recovery wrong if the past still shows up. Drawing from her work as a therapist and her own lived losses, Cinnamon breaks down why healing isn’t about forgetting, cutting cords, or turning pages like nothing happened. Trauma doesn’t disappear on command. It doesn’t come with scissors. And it doesn’t stay politely behind you. Instead, she offers a reframe that actually fits how nervous systems work. Healing is when the memory drops from face level to ankle level. It’s still there. You’re aware of it. But it no longer blocks your breath, your vision, or your ability to live. This episode is for anyone who still has waves. For anyone who remembers. For anyone who’s been told they should be further along by now. You’re not broken. You’re not failing at healing. And you don’t need better metaphors that ask you to disappear parts of yourself. You need language that tells the truth. DISCLAIMER: After the Tones Drop has been presented and sponsored by Whole House Counseling. After the Tones Drop is for informational purposes only and does not constitute for medical or psychological advice. It is not a substitute for professional health care advice diagnosis or treatment. Please contact a local mental health professional in your area if you are in need of assistance. You can also visit our shows resources page for an abundance of helpful information. ATTD Music Credits (Music from #Uppbeat): https://uppbeat.io/t/vens-adams/adventure-is-calling License code: ANJCYVHRMULSNKQR https://uppbeat.io/t/vens-adams/rise-of-the-hero License code: H4WTAGJZIXZCM8DM https://uppbeat.io/t/yeti-music/homewardLicense code: KO7FZAIJBAEAJLKE https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/the-heart-grows License code: KAID0ITO96GJZAPS https://uppbeat.io/t/philip-anderson/achievement License code: XZ4PMCKHW94GUR74 https://uppbeat.io/t/tobias-voigt/nexus License code: MVMDRGHKHTJRABVR https://uppbeat.io/t/paul-yudin/breakthrough License code: FYPM3OJF0NQ4OGTE