The Overfunctioner-Underperformer Dynamic: Doing Too Much and Feeling Like You're Not Enough
Mon Feb 02 2026
This is about the Overfunctioner-Underperformer Dynamic, where one partner consistently carries the majority of the load, while the other partner fails to show up in a way that truly progresses and deepens the relationship.
We’re not blaming the person “doing less” or sympathizing with the person “doing more” — I’m pulling the veil back so you can see the inner workings of what’s happening in this dynamic and I’m giving solutions for what to do about it.
Mentioned videos —
8 models for Self & Relational Development: https://youtu.be/tLHS3kaacgo
SER Model: https://youtu.be/mOwCXoETFxc
👩🏾🏫 Conflict in Couples Workshop: https://taylorchandler.as.me/schedule/7f693168/?appointmentTypeIds[]=88471947
👉 Interest form to work with me: https://mkd8uhsug6i.typeform.com/to/cpvug08L
💻 Website: https://www.iamtaylorchandler.com/
📲 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/iamtaylorchandler/
⏰ Timestamps:
00:00:38 What are Relationship Dynamics?
0:02:37 The Capacity Problem
00:04:28 Three domains of capacity
00:11:24 Solutions for the O-U Dynamic
Thank you for your support!
Work with me: Interest Form
Website: https://www.iamtaylorchandler.com/
Instagram: @iamtaylorchandler
YouTube: @iamtaylorchandler
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This is about the Overfunctioner-Underperformer Dynamic, where one partner consistently carries the majority of the load, while the other partner fails to show up in a way that truly progresses and deepens the relationship. We’re not blaming the person “doing less” or sympathizing with the person “doing more” — I’m pulling the veil back so you can see the inner workings of what’s happening in this dynamic and I’m giving solutions for what to do about it. Mentioned videos — 8 models for Self & Relational Development: https://youtu.be/tLHS3kaacgo SER Model: https://youtu.be/mOwCXoETFxc 👩🏾🏫 Conflict in Couples Workshop: https://taylorchandler.as.me/schedule/7f693168/?appointmentTypeIds[]=88471947 👉 Interest form to work with me: https://mkd8uhsug6i.typeform.com/to/cpvug08L 💻 Website: https://www.iamtaylorchandler.com/ 📲 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/iamtaylorchandler/ ⏰ Timestamps: 00:00:38 What are Relationship Dynamics? 0:02:37 The Capacity Problem 00:04:28 Three domains of capacity 00:11:24 Solutions for the O-U Dynamic Thank you for your support! Work with me: Interest Form Website: https://www.iamtaylorchandler.com/ Instagram: @iamtaylorchandler YouTube: @iamtaylorchandler