Q&A: Can you spoil a toddler by holding them too much?
Thu Feb 05 2026
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...
- Why so many parents start questioning their instincts around holding and comforting as their baby becomes a toddler.
- How to tell when your child truly needs comfort versus when they may be ready for a small, supportive stretch.
- What increased clinginess may be communicating and how decoding the root cause can guide what to do next.
- Why soothing and physical closeness do not undermine independence and often play a key role in helping it develop.
- How to move away from rigid parenting rules and make moment-to-moment decisions rooted in attunement and nervous system cues.
- What it looks like to honor your own limits without making your child feel unsafe, rejected, or "too much."
If you have ever wondered whether you are helping or hurting your child by picking them up, holding them, or setting boundaries around your availability, this episode will help you navigate those moments with more confidence.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
🔗 Donald Winicott
👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about confidently parenting your toddler with Transforming Toddlerhood's Devon Kuntzman
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about toddler sleep with Eileen Henry
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about Helping your child feel seen, understood, and validated with the co-authors of the Terrific Toddlers series
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
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Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about... - Why so many parents start questioning their instincts around holding and comforting as their baby becomes a toddler. - How to tell when your child truly needs comfort versus when they may be ready for a small, supportive stretch. - What increased clinginess may be communicating and how decoding the root cause can guide what to do next. - Why soothing and physical closeness do not undermine independence and often play a key role in helping it develop. - How to move away from rigid parenting rules and make moment-to-moment decisions rooted in attunement and nervous system cues. - What it looks like to honor your own limits without making your child feel unsafe, rejected, or "too much." If you have ever wondered whether you are helping or hurting your child by picking them up, holding them, or setting boundaries around your availability, this episode will help you navigate those moments with more confidence. REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES: 🔗 Donald Winicott 👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family. ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about confidently parenting your toddler with Transforming Toddlerhood's Devon Kuntzman 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about toddler sleep with Eileen Henry 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about Helping your child feel seen, understood, and validated with the co-authors of the Terrific Toddlers series WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!