You Don't Need to Earn Love – How to Break Free From the Conditional Love Trap
Fri Feb 06 2026
Break free from seeking love and approval from others and discover how to reclaim your self-worth without performing, pleasing, or proving anything.
Are you still trying to earn love by performing, pleasing, or never making a mistake? In this episode, we explore how the belief that love is conditional forms in childhood — and how it shapes people-pleasing, perfectionism, and the constant fear of not being “enough.” We uncover how to break free from the performance trap, heal the Inner Child, and remember your intrinsic worth.
You’ll learn how conditional love sabotages relationships, how to dissolve old vows using the Golden Thread Process, and how to create love from within rather than chasing it from others. If you're ready to reclaim self-worth and experience love without conditions, this conversation will guide you back to truth and emotional freedom.
With your hosts, David James Lees (ordained Taoist monk, emotional and spiritual health teacher) and Alexandra Lees (mindset and business coach).
Discover our online consultations, events and shop: https://www.wuweiwisdom.com
Subscribe to David’s FREE Journal: https://davidjameslees.substack.com/
Other related teachings on our YouTube channel that will help you:
LOVE & RELATIONSHIPS PLAYLIST https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL9NQ_PWX4zID3yxrdCbbZFuKHCwgV6qhXSelf Love & Self Acceptance – Guided Meditation https://youtu.be/sJtQu6vaSHM?si=1RrasPbkzN8UxpeeMeditation for Self-Love & Loving Relationships https://youtu.be/duUfdGPUtFs?si=yPPN9lu9d5OanIjW Our INNER CHILD PLAYLIST https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL9NQ_PWX4zICGLRS1b7q1HSJhZRash5qq Join our free Wu Wei Wisdom Community Facebook support group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/wuweiwisdomcommunity
If you love our work, you can now make a small donation to help fund the continued production of our weekly teachings by buying us a 'virtual coffee'! https://www.buymeacoffee.com/wuweiwisdom
Book an online Golden Thread Process & Inner Child Consultation with David: https://www.wuweiwisdom.com/therapies-for-body-mind/
Follow us on Instagram: @wuweiwisdom
Sign up to receive a relaxing guided meditation gift, plus our weekly newsletter + offers via email: https://www.wuweiwisdom.com/signup
Music by Earth Tree Healing
Disclaimer: This podcast and any associated teaching and comments shared are not a substitute for professional therapy, mental health care, crisis support, medical advice, doctor diagnosis, or professional healthcare treatment. Our show episodes provide general information for educational purposes only and are offered as suggestions for you and your professional therapist or healthcare advisor to consider and research.
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Break free from seeking love and approval from others and discover how to reclaim your self-worth without performing, pleasing, or proving anything. Are you still trying to earn love by performing, pleasing, or never making a mistake? In this episode, we explore how the belief that love is conditional forms in childhood — and how it shapes people-pleasing, perfectionism, and the constant fear of not being “enough.” We uncover how to break free from the performance trap, heal the Inner Child, and remember your intrinsic worth. You’ll learn how conditional love sabotages relationships, how to dissolve old vows using the Golden Thread Process, and how to create love from within rather than chasing it from others. If you're ready to reclaim self-worth and experience love without conditions, this conversation will guide you back to truth and emotional freedom. With your hosts, David James Lees (ordained Taoist monk, emotional and spiritual health teacher) and Alexandra Lees (mindset and business coach). Discover our online consultations, events and shop: https://www.wuweiwisdom.com Subscribe to David’s FREE Journal: https://davidjameslees.substack.com/ Other related teachings on our YouTube channel that will help you: LOVE & RELATIONSHIPS PLAYLIST https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL9NQ_PWX4zID3yxrdCbbZFuKHCwgV6qhXSelf Love & Self Acceptance – Guided Meditation https://youtu.be/sJtQu6vaSHM?si=1RrasPbkzN8UxpeeMeditation for Self-Love & Loving Relationships https://youtu.be/duUfdGPUtFs?si=yPPN9lu9d5OanIjW Our INNER CHILD PLAYLIST https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL9NQ_PWX4zICGLRS1b7q1HSJhZRash5qq Join our free Wu Wei Wisdom Community Facebook support group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/wuweiwisdomcommunity If you love our work, you can now make a small donation to help fund the continued production of our weekly teachings by buying us a 'virtual coffee'! https://www.buymeacoffee.com/wuweiwisdom Book an online Golden Thread Process & Inner Child Consultation with David: https://www.wuweiwisdom.com/therapies-for-body-mind/ Follow us on Instagram: @wuweiwisdom Sign up to receive a relaxing guided meditation gift, plus our weekly newsletter + offers via email: https://www.wuweiwisdom.com/signup Music by Earth Tree Healing Disclaimer: This podcast and any associated teaching and comments shared are not a substitute for professional therapy, mental health care, crisis support, medical advice, doctor diagnosis, or professional healthcare treatment. Our show episodes provide general information for educational purposes only and are offered as suggestions for you and your professional therapist or healthcare advisor to consider and research.