171 - Why Your Partner Never Hears What You're Trying to Say
Sat Feb 07 2026
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
Have you ever had an argument that started over something small? The dishes, a tone of voice or being late, and somehow ended with both of you feeling hurt, defensive and completely misunderstood?
In this episode of The Anger Secrets Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs explains why most relationship conflict isn’t caused by big problems. It’s caused by small moments where listening breaks down, emotions rise and conversations spiral out of control before either person realises what’s happening.
You’ll learn three practical communication skills that actually work: helping you feel heard, express yourself clearly without aggression and stop everyday disagreements from turning into damaging arguments.
What you’ll learn in this episode:
Why good intentions still lead to communication breakdownsThe most common mistake people make when they think they’re “listening”How to express yourself clearly without sounding aggressive or defensiveA simple structure for difficult conversations that reduces conflictHow to negotiate disagreements without damaging trust or respect
The three communication skills covered:
Active listening: Learning to understand before respondingClear, non-aggressive expression: Saying what you mean without escalating conflictEffective negotiation: Working together instead of against each other
Want help with this?
If communication in your relationship keeps breaking down, especially when emotions run high, support is available:
Watch the free training on breaking the anger cycleBook a free 30-minute Anger Assessment CallLearn more about The Complete Anger Management System
Visit angersecrets.com to get started.
When communication changes, relationships change with it.
And remember:
You can’t control other people — but you can control yourself.
More
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com. Have you ever had an argument that started over something small? The dishes, a tone of voice or being late, and somehow ended with both of you feeling hurt, defensive and completely misunderstood? In this episode of The Anger Secrets Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs explains why most relationship conflict isn’t caused by big problems. It’s caused by small moments where listening breaks down, emotions rise and conversations spiral out of control before either person realises what’s happening. You’ll learn three practical communication skills that actually work: helping you feel heard, express yourself clearly without aggression and stop everyday disagreements from turning into damaging arguments. What you’ll learn in this episode: Why good intentions still lead to communication breakdownsThe most common mistake people make when they think they’re “listening”How to express yourself clearly without sounding aggressive or defensiveA simple structure for difficult conversations that reduces conflictHow to negotiate disagreements without damaging trust or respect The three communication skills covered: Active listening: Learning to understand before respondingClear, non-aggressive expression: Saying what you mean without escalating conflictEffective negotiation: Working together instead of against each other Want help with this? If communication in your relationship keeps breaking down, especially when emotions run high, support is available: Watch the free training on breaking the anger cycleBook a free 30-minute Anger Assessment CallLearn more about The Complete Anger Management System Visit angersecrets.com to get started. When communication changes, relationships change with it. And remember: You can’t control other people — but you can control yourself.