When Hard Hard Isn't Working
Tue Jan 27 2026
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This episode is dropping during my birthday week, which is usually my Super Bowl. I love my birthday. I plan it. I talk about it. I’m a dork about it. But this year, instead of full party mode, I found myself getting weirdly reflective.
Maybe it’s because this is my last year in my 40s. Maybe it’s because I’ve started asking myself some bigger questions about what I want my life to look like before I hit 50. Or maybe it’s because I finally slowed down long enough to look at the actual data of my life instead of just vibing on feelings and good intentions.
And hoo boy. The data had thoughts.
In this episode, I talk about the one ratio that you absolutely have to get right if you want to feel satisfied instead of secretly resentful. Your effort-to-results ratio. When this ratio is off, you can be working your ass off and still feel unhappy, frustrated, and vaguely annoyed at everything, without fully understanding why.
I tell the story of my friend Beth to show how easy it is to chase results that require an unsustainable level of effort and how cruel we can be to ourselves when we inevitably can’t maintain something that was never realistic in the first place. This exact dynamic shows up in fitness, money, relationships, careers, and honestly, just being a human.
I also walk you through the super simple process I just used that exposed some pretty big mismatches in my own life, including how I’ve been running this podcast. Yes, changes are coming. Not because I’m burnt out or dramatic, but because the data made it impossible to ignore.
If you’ve been trying harder and harder and wondering why it still doesn’t feel good, this episode is probably going to hit a nerve. In a good way.
What’s Inside:
The effort-to-results ratio and why getting it wrong makes everything feel harder than it shouldWhy throwing more effort at a problem is often the worst strategyHow to gather real data instead of trusting feelings that are lying to youUsing the 80/20 rule to stop overworking and start getting better resultsIf you’re exhausted, frustrated, or low-key pissed off despite doing all the “right” things, this is your reminder to stop grinding and start evaluating. Look at how much effort you’re giving. Look at what you’re actually getting back. And ask yourself if those two things make sense together.
You don’t need more discipline. You don’t need to push harder. You need clarity and the permission to change what isn’t working.
After you listen, DM me on Instagram and tell me where hard hard isn’t working in your life anymore. I read every message, and your honesty genuinely shapes this show.
Mentioned in This Episode:
FitFeelsGood.com/strongaf
Oonagh Duncan on Instagram
Fit Feels Good
Leave me a voice note on Speak Pipe!
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Send us a text This episode is dropping during my birthday week, which is usually my Super Bowl. I love my birthday. I plan it. I talk about it. I’m a dork about it. But this year, instead of full party mode, I found myself getting weirdly reflective. Maybe it’s because this is my last year in my 40s. Maybe it’s because I’ve started asking myself some bigger questions about what I want my life to look like before I hit 50. Or maybe it’s because I finally slowed down long enough to look at the actual data of my life instead of just vibing on feelings and good intentions. And hoo boy. The data had thoughts. In this episode, I talk about the one ratio that you absolutely have to get right if you want to feel satisfied instead of secretly resentful. Your effort-to-results ratio. When this ratio is off, you can be working your ass off and still feel unhappy, frustrated, and vaguely annoyed at everything, without fully understanding why. I tell the story of my friend Beth to show how easy it is to chase results that require an unsustainable level of effort and how cruel we can be to ourselves when we inevitably can’t maintain something that was never realistic in the first place. This exact dynamic shows up in fitness, money, relationships, careers, and honestly, just being a human. I also walk you through the super simple process I just used that exposed some pretty big mismatches in my own life, including how I’ve been running this podcast. Yes, changes are coming. Not because I’m burnt out or dramatic, but because the data made it impossible to ignore. If you’ve been trying harder and harder and wondering why it still doesn’t feel good, this episode is probably going to hit a nerve. In a good way. What’s Inside: The effort-to-results ratio and why getting it wrong makes everything feel harder than it shouldWhy throwing more effort at a problem is often the worst strategyHow to gather real data instead of trusting feelings that are lying to youUsing the 80/20 rule to stop overworking and start getting better resultsIf you’re exhausted, frustrated, or low-key pissed off despite doing all the “right” things, this is your reminder to stop grinding and start evaluating. Look at how much effort you’re giving. Look at what you’re actually getting back. And ask yourself if those two things make sense together. You don’t need more discipline. You don’t need to push harder. You need clarity and the permission to change what isn’t working. After you listen, DM me on Instagram and tell me where hard hard isn’t working in your life anymore. I read every message, and your honesty genuinely shapes this show. Mentioned in This Episode: FitFeelsGood.com/strongaf Oonagh Duncan on Instagram Fit Feels Good Leave me a voice note on Speak Pipe!